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“The ABC's of Change”
by Eva Gregory

It is said that “People are creatures of habit“. At first blush, that certainly seems true. Each of us see people do the same things the same way day after day. We often fall into this habit as well. After all, when was the last time you drank a cup of coffee with the opposite hand? ;)

Most of us respond to certain situations the same way time after time, year after year, without even thinking about it. While tying your shoes the same way all of your life may not impact the quality of life that you enjoy, other “habits“ can.

We learn how to respond to certain stimulus as we grow up. In high school we learn that if we avoid eye contact with certain people, our lives go more smoothly. In college we learn study habits that often stay with us long after graduation, whether they are practical or not. Have you ever caught yourself “cramming“ for a meeting like it was a history final?

While some of these traits may be fine, in fact may be the traits we desire, not taking the time to think through how we respond to situations can lead to “we've always done it that way“ thinking. And that can lead to regrets if we are not choosing our response.

We are fortunate indeed that we can be responsible. By that I don't mean only that we live with the consequences of our actions. I also mean that we are able to respond. In that spirit, please consider these “A,B,C's“ of change.

A = AWARE

The first step is to be aware of your response. We often learn to give pat answers to situations that arise frequently. But what happens when our life situations change? For example, it's not uncommon for a person building a new business to choose to live an unbalanced life for a short time in order to give the new enterprise a “jump start.“ Yet people who make this choice often become workaholics if they don't review that choice once the critical getting started phase is over. Since work will always expand to fit the time available, they lead lives full of “I can't right now, this project is urgent“ answers and miss some of life's most precious moments. Step one is to be aware of how you respond to situations. Take time to think through if your response is appropriate to today, or a relic of a bygone time.

B = BREAK the habit

Step two is almost completely dependant on completing step one. Once you are aware of the responses you give that don't really align with who you are now, you can take action to break the old habits. The best way to do this is to choose a new response based on the particular situation you are in at the moment.

C = CHOOSE your response

Try to avoid simply exchanging an old habit with a new one. Take a moment instead to be aware of how you currently feel and choose your response. When you do you will be living in the now. Not all habits are bad. The “habit“ of moving quickly in the face of an oncoming car can save your life. While this is true, it's equally true that if we let ourselves be ruled by habits we are no longer choosing in the moment.

Try this three-step approach in your life. Breaking old habits can be fun (to prove this, try turning off the television for a month) and can lead to more creativity in your life as well. Remember to keep it as simple as A-B-C.

Copyright © 2002 Eva Gregory