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“Reciprocity”
by Eva Gregory

How often do you think about the things you want? If you are like most people, the answer is very often. Teenage boys think about teenage girls once every three seconds. Is it any wonder we have to cajole them to get their homework done? ;) Seriously, thinking about what you want too much might just lead to not getting it. Here's why.

In the Universe, there are principles. Gravity is a principle. Drop something and it will fall. That is, if you are on Earth. One of the foundational principles of the Universe is called reciprocity. Although you may not call it by that name, you employ this principle every day. Let's take a closer look.

Reciprocity simply means the impulse we all feel to give something back when someone gives us something. This happens to you and me every day. Someone says thank you, we say you're welcome. Someone opens a door for us, so we open the next door for them. A waiter or waitress gives us outstanding service and we reply with a generous tip. Someone compliments us and we feel the need to return the compliment. We even use the phrase “return the favor,“ indicating a natural tendency to give back.

How does reciprocity affect your life? Here are two quick examples of how this foundational principle works in the real world. The more you understand, and cooperate with, reciprocity, the more successful you will become in every encounter you have.

Reciprocity at Home

You come home from a long day at work. You immediately begin to spill the beans about how rough your day was, how you are not being treated fairly, how life is tough. How do you think your spouse (or children) will respond? Chances are they will respond in kind by letting you in on their day and it's disappointments. While these mutual pity parties aren't fatal, they don't set the stage for a great evening.

How much better if, when you tell your story, you find the good in your day. No pie in the sky. No denying that some things are tough. Just finding the silver lining and choosing to count your blessings instead. Now how will your family respond? The odds are they will follow your example. If so, you have set the stage for a wonderful evening and made a super valuable deposit in your memory bank.

Reciprocity at Work

Reciprocity is best expressed in our work environment by giving great customer service. We all have a choice when it comes to serving customers. Will we do what we have to do and call it a day ... or will we go the extra mile and provide a WOW experience for our clients?

When we choose to go the extra mile (giving of ourselves) we are rewarded with repeat business and referrals too. Thus, the principle of reciprocity kicks in and we receive after we give. What happens if we choose to just give average customer service? Not much.

Let me encourage you to think about the law of reciprocity in your life today. Maybe even discuss it with someone at lunch or dinner. The more you think about how you can give, the faster you will achieve your goals. In fact, you will find that it is Universally true that when you give ... you will receive.

Copyright © 2002 Eva Gregory