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“Taking a Stand for Change”
by Jeanna Gabellini

I was on the phone earlier today, getting some Laws of Attraction coaching from Eva Gregory, my business partner (check out her new book at http://feelgoodguidetoprosperity.com. I was talking about a desire of mine where I felt I was trying to "control" the outcome vs. attract it. I told Eva that people in my life are telling me to take a stand for this desire, but taking that stand still felt like trying to control in the way they were meaning it. Then she said something that made it all come together for me, "Taking a stand it is great. But what do you want to take a stand for?" I said I wanted to take a stand for trusting myself, the Universe, and knowing that I make choices that feel good. That is contrary to the way I was thinking previously, which was to fiercely take a stand for my boundaries. No wonder it didn't feel good!

How do you make big changes in your life when you feel stuck on "how" to make the change? Or maybe you know what you need to do but can't seem to just do it. Sometimes it feels like it would be perfect if someone else could just do it for you -- or maybe someone could just put their boot firmly in your backside and push you to other side of the issue. I know I've had my whiny moments saying aloud, "Can't you just handle this for me? I'm nervous and this feels hard." Waaaaaaa!

My personal thought process I default into under big time stress is, "I can make this happen!" Then I strategize all possible obstacles and worry about how I'll handle it until I'm exhausted. After the pain of the situation irritates me, then I take a simple action that comes from a place of power and the desire is manifested in record short time.

How can you make the changes without all that discomfort? I figure you have several different choices. No matter which you choose, you have to first look the situation straight in the eye and tell the truth. Lay out the facts of the situation in a non-emotional way. I'm not talking about what may happen in the future. That's called forecasting and guessing. Just the bottom line of what your current situation is. You also have to tell the truth about what your fears are and the habits of thought you keep repeating that keep patterns of behavior alive.

We do this in the Daily AMP teleclass ... participants focus on creating a new habit of thought for 60 days. It takes courage to admit that you have a habit of thought that keeps you feeling small and stuck. The movie out in theatres right now called, "What The Bleep Do We Know," addresses this in a very visual and logical manner.

After you choose to lay out the facts, it's time for your second choice. Will you commit to making the change or not. If yes, time to move on to the third choice. If your answer is no, game over. Go back to being stuck and living the same way you've been living around that issue.

Next, choose whether you will take an action, change your perspective or way of thinking about this issue, or do both simultaneously. There is no best way; whatever gets you there is perfect.

Several months ago I left a relationship within which I felt a tremendous amount of grief and stress. I kept asking myself why I wouldn't leave and could not figure it out. I was finding it hard to change my thinking. One day, I left and never went back. I was scared out of my mind. I had no idea how it would all play out. We owned a house together, and I truly loved him. But I had to take the action. Once I took the action, I changed my thinking. But I needed to take the action to create the momentum to change my habit of thought about what I deserved in a life partner.

Now, some of you would find it easier to get some coaching (which I did) and work strictly with your habit of thought. Then you could get the courage to take the action needed to propel you forward. My habits of thought were so strong that I was in a fog about the action to take. If you were to take some small actions that support a habit of thought that is positive, you could move steadily out of any stuck place.

Let me make an important point here. You can't "only" take an action or "only" change your habit of thought. If I refused to look at my thinking about what I deserve in a relationship and that I will not tolerate anything but a peaceful environment, I would not be unstuck. I would attract another situation that made me feel stuck and create a chaotic environment. That's why when I only focused on changing my thoughts about relationships but stayed in a stressful environment, I was still unhappy. You have to change both your thinking and take action. But you can do one first and follow up with the other.

Now for another perspective on the term "I'm stuck." It feels like, at times, it is true. You feel like there is no choice. You are stuck with a certain set of circumstance or you don't have the courage to do something about it. That is a BIG FAT LIE YOU TELL YOURSELF. That way of thinking is a habit of thought in itself. You always have choices. It may take 10 other people to convince you or maybe a deep conversation with your highest self or the Universe/God.

Life is too short to feel stuck or be in a situation of any kind that doesn't feel joyful. It's simply unnecessary. One of the greatest motivators is to focus on how life will be after you make the change. I focused on a life of peace, fun and freedom when I took my action. I knew those things were worth any discomfort I might experience while taking a stand for change.

Take a stand for the kind of life you want to have in every area of your life. Money won't mean anything to you if you are miserable in what you do for living or if you come home to an environment that brings your joy to a screaming halt. Remember there are no trade-offs. You don't have to suffer with any of your choices. Just make new ones and know that you always have infinite choices.

Copyright © 2004 Jeanna Gabellini